On Life and Reality
by Jubilee
Summary: A random friend talks about the newsies and their new "friends"


**Disclaimer:** I only own Anna. Everything else is owned by Disney or Mary-Sue authors. Please don't sue me. I have enough loans I'm gonna have to pay off, not including Grad school. 

**Special Mentions:** I wanna thank Butterfly. She's fucking awesome and a great beta. You kick ass, girl! 

These 3 websites are great for helping you identify how much of a Mary-Sue your character is.

1) Mage's Newsies Fanfiction Rants

2) Newsies Mary Sue Litmus Test

3) Newsies Fanfic 101

**Feedback:** Is wonderful. 

**Note:** If you think that any of the characters in here sound like yours and it's not Anna, Guess what. You have a Mary-Sue. Any flames defending your Mary-Sue will provide great entertainment. 

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On Life and Reality 

_By, Jubilee_

*****

I can't win. 

I'm an ordinary girl. Not that smart. Not that talented. Not that strong or fast. I can do stuff, but I'm not amazing. I'm "well-rounded," as Specs would say. 

Well-rounded, my ass…

I mean, I wasn't expecting to marry Jack or Spot and live happily ever after like in a fairy tale.that doesn't happen to people like me. I was a waitress at Medda's. All the guys liked me well enough. Would joke around with me. Teach me various tricks they'd picked up over the year. Race'd teach me poker and interesting ways to cuss someone out. Jack would give me tips on how to lie with a straight face. Spot even taught me how to fight. I actually beat him once. He was sick as a dog at the time, but I beat him. He gets so pissed off when I remind him of that… 

Anyway, I 'm friends with everyone, and that's the problem. I'm a buddy. One of the guys. Someone to joke around with and go to for advice on how the female mind works. 

Well, fuck. 

It wasn't that bad. I mean they all liked me and some of them even seemed to be waking up to the fact that I had tits. (Took 'em long enough….) Then, they came. The fucking bitch brigade. It was like a sudden influx of girls from various areas decided that New York was lined with gold. ::snort:: More like cute Newsies. 

What? I'm not blind. I know attractive guys when I see them. 

Some of you may be wondering why I never stood up for what could be perceived as my territory. I'll tell you why. They're perfect. Abso-fucking-lutely perfect. 

In EVERY way. 

You just can't compete with that. Hell, Medda would have a better chance. They all have long, thick "ebony," "golden," "auburn," or "chestnut" hair. All either straight or in perfect ringlets. Their hair never frizzes. And I've never seen any of them with a blemish on their face. Nope. Perfect creamy complexion. 

They don't have normal eyes either. They're never anything like brown or hazel. No….They're "Amethyst," or "Emerald," or "Sapphire." Jeez…. Don't they have normal colored eyes in England or the Bronx? 

Their perfection isn't just looks. These girls can outshoot and outfight Spot. They can outsell Jack. They can outgamble Race. They're the spunkiest of the spunky. They're the cutest of the cute. They can sing opera, dance ballet, act out entire Shakespearean plays, speak five different languages. They can even talk shit on Spot and get away with it! The only thing they can't do is walk on water. 

Yet. 

And they ALWAYS have a Newsie boyfriend. It's a cliché. Every guy wants them and every girl wants to be them. What the fuck's up with that? They never lose. They've rarely had a boyfriend cheat on them, and if he did, he always came running back, begging for forgiveness within a couple days.

I've never seen Spot beg. Not even when he got the shit kicked out of him so badly we thought he'd die…

These girls have pasts out of a fucking Gothic Romance Novel. They're rich girls who have been kicked out of their homes because they refused to marry some rich boy their daddies chose. If they're not rich, they're related to some Newsie in New York. I didn't know that Jack and Spot had so many siblings. Either their parents were rabbits or their fathers were just whores. Last count, Jack was in the lead with 187. Spot has 143. 

If neither of these are true, then they have a tragic past where their families died in a tragic past and they're forced out onto the street. Usually they steal food. Sometimes they whore themselves out. 

But how am I supposed to compete with them? I've always been poor. My parents are alive. I have a sister and a brother and started working to help out my family. I have mousy brown hair that I wear pinned into a braid for work. I have brown eyes. 

My name isn't anything fancy like Cassandra, Alexandra, Dawn or Ashley. I don't have a Newsie name, like Slingshot, Cat or Angel. I'm just Anna. 

I'm about 5 and a half feet tall. I weigh about 13 stones to their 8. (They're all thin and either curvy or willowy. No pear-shaped figures for them. My one satisfaction is the fact that most of them will die in childbirth from narrow hips.) 

I will say, though, that at least the numbers are going down. We got quite a few that claimed they were from the future. They scared a lot of people and cause trouble until the police found them. They're currently being held on the islands and being fed tar with the other loonies. As for their "Time machines," they were smashed by mobs that believed they would bring cholera back to the city. 

Well, Medda's calling me. I gotta get back to work. Enjoy New York and watch out for the bitch brigade. After all, who needs perfection?


End file.
